I saw them as I was pulling into the shopping center. A women probably mid 40’s with two teenage kids sitting close by her feet. She was holding a sign thought I couldn’t read it as I was pulling in.
Pulling out she was still there by the exit. Her large white sign read “no money, no job, few skills, husband left, trying to feed and care for my 2 kids” She looked mid 40’s trying to look at drivers and had a slight humble smile I’m sure hoping to win their hearts and a few dollars. The two kids near her were young teenagers. They sat obediently near, but kept their eyes downcast. I’m sure they were a little embarrassed. I had every intention of giving her a few dollars. Heck, I give money to the homeless all the time and never know if their need is real or what.
Then it hit me. Flash back 40 years and I was suddenly that young teenager sitting by while her mother “panhandled” for money trying desperately trying to get me home to California to my grandparents. At the time I remember being so embarrassed. We had made it as far as Vegas and she was trying desperately trying to get enough bus fare to get me back to California. As a kid all those feeling of embarrassment and shame filled me. I hated that my Mom made me sit there by her (not that there was anywhere else to go) but I truly wanted to be anywhere but there.
Now as an adult in hindsight I can understand my mother’s love for me. It was a desperate situation. Getting me back to California she felt was what was necessary to save me (turns out she was right) and she was willing to forgo any personal pride and suffer whatever embarrassment she had to for her daughter.
As I pulled up to this woman and rolled down my window….I was flooded with emotions as if I was that child sitting by my mother’s feet as she begged mercy from strangers but now with the hindsight and knowledge of an adult . The women must have thought I was crazy as I had tears just streaming down my cheeks as I emptied my wallet and consul and gave her all the money I had with me. She graciously thanked me over and over and asked that God would bless me and I drove away crying ever harder.
I love my Mother. As I became an adult and a mother myself and started truly recognizing the sacrifices she made for us being a single mother I told her many times over the years how much I appreciated all she did for us. The later adult years with my Mother was at times, hard. I always loved her and I knew she loved me but she was colorful, egocentric, giving to strangers and many, many other wonderful things but it was at times hard for us children to sometimes watch the decisions she made later in life about what was important to her. But there is no question that she was a good mother to her children. She always put her children first. Always made sure our needs and even wants were taken care of before her own. She did the best she could with what she had at any given time in her life. Today more than ever before since she died, I cried. I missed her. I wished I could tell her one more time how much I love her and appreciate her being willing swallow her pride and beg the bus driver, to panhandle on the street corner then to hitchhike with her daughter and do whatever it took to get me home.
Now you understand why I have a soft spot for those who must beg for money from strangers. For I know “but there for the grace of God go I”. I hope things turn out for this family. I hope her need was real, but either way I did what I could and that is all that is asked. I would rather give money to many undeserving than to pass up the one truly in need. No good deed is ever wasted.
